Marriage works: Dem Wa Facebook’s mum uses 20-year journey to silence critics

Dem Wa Facebook’s mum has shared her 20-year marriage journey as a testament to enduring love and commitment, addressing critics who question whether long-term marriages can survive in today’s world.

Speaking in a video shared on the comedienne’s YouTube page on Saturday, September 20, 2025, she narrated that she and her husband did not spend long dating as many young couples do today.

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She noted that after meeting, their relationship moved swiftly, and within a month, they were married.

“I did not date my husband for a long time like people do today. We met and got married just one month later. When we first met, my husband’s mother told him that he could not let me go, and she held on to that belief,” she said.

She added that her husband’s mother played a pivotal role in ensuring the union endured, observing her closely during her early encounters and insisting to her son that she was the right partner.

She said their initial connection began during a choir performance, where she passed by, and her future mother-in-law would regularly remind her son about her, reinforcing that she was the one for him.

“Our connection began when I was singing in a choir, and she would often watch me and remind her son about me, insisting that I was the one. Now, we have been married for over 20 years.”

Reflections

Reflecting on their marriage, she said that the 20 years they have spent together have given her a deep understanding of what makes relationships work.

She added that many young people today spend years scrutinising potential partners before committing, and that this often leads to disagreements and breakups.

She noted that, unlike such situations, marrying the right person ensures love, care, and mutual respect, forming the foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

“From my experience, I can say that marriage is not inherently bad. The challenge for young people today is that they spend too much time scrutinising potential partners. If a couple argues or sees someone else showing interest, they sometimes immediately move on. That is why many young couples date for years and eventually break up,” she said.

She explained that choosing the wrong partner can make marriage feel like a prison, where one remains together for reasons other than love, such as raising children or avoiding societal shame.

She said that in such cases, individuals endure challenges and suppress dissatisfaction, fearing embarrassment if the marriage fails.

“Marriage works when you find the right partner, someone who will love and care for you. But if you choose the wrong person, marriage can feel like a prison. People end up staying together not out of love but because of children or fear of shame. Many fear divorce, but it should not trap you in an unhappy relationship.”

She added that when one finds a suitable partner, however, the relationship becomes a source of joy, support, and shared growth.

She further noted that marriage is not inherently difficult, adding that when God blesses someone with the right partner, the relationship flourishes naturally.

“I can confidently say that when you find the right spouse, the marriage will thrive because there is love, care, and mutual respect. My own marriage has lasted over two decades because of this, and it shows that marriage can work if you are with the right person and God blesses the union.”