Ciru Muriuki opens up on losing Charlie: From planning a wedding to his cremation
Ciru Muriuki has opened up about the deep pain she went through after the death of her partner, Charles Ouda, describing how her life changed in an instant and how grief affected her body and mind.
In an interview with Stephanie Nganga on Wednesday, December 10, 2025, she said the loss was not only about their relationship but also about losing a future they had planned together.
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She shared that the pain was heavy and confusing, saying she was mourning both what they had and the person she loved.
“It was mourning him. We lost such an important person,” she said as she described how difficult it was to accept the reality of his death. She explained that the shift from joy to heartbreak was sudden, adding, “I went from planning a wedding to figuring out cremation.”
Ciru said the grieving period affected her deeply, especially physically.
“I couldn’t eat, I lost so much weight,” she shared.
During the first weeks after Charlie’s death, she said she experienced a level of shock she had never known before.
“That period of first … like 12 weeks, I realised that you could actually lose 30 per cent of your body weight.”
The weight of grief
She said the weight loss happened because she could not understand what was happening around her.
“Because of grief, I could not understand what was happening,” she said, describing how each day felt unreal.
She added that the whole experience felt like she had woken up in a different world.
“It was shocking, I felt like I woke up in another universe. It is like you wake up and everybody else is speaking Japanese,” she said. She explained that the pain made her wish everything would pause.
“I was like, please, shukisha. I wanted the world to stop so that I could get off.”
Ciru said it has taken her more than a year to finally speak openly about the loss, and she believes talking about it now shows she is slowly healing.
“It has taken me more than a year to say that sentence, that Charlie is dead,” she said.
