Mkamburi Chigogo: Men marry when it’s time, not because you cook for them
Content creator and motivational speaker Mkamburi Chigogo has sparked discussion after telling women that men do not marry because of the things they do for them, but because of timing and alignment.
Speaking online on Instagram on Thursday, October 23, 2025, Mkamburi said that many women are mistaken in thinking that taking care of a man or performing domestic duties guarantees marriage.
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She explained that while a man may appreciate the effort, it is never the reason he decides to marry. According to her, most men choose to settle down only when the time feels right, regardless of how much a woman does for them.
“Let me tell the women now, the ones who rarely do those things get married because men marry because of time and alignment. Not because of what you had done for them at that time,” she said.
Mkamburi added that women should do things for their partners out of willingness, not expectation.
“Unaweza ukafua, ata appreciate ndio, but hiyo si qualifications za wewe kuolewa. Dada yangu, kama unafanya, fanya kwa hiari yako, lakini usifanye eti una target huyu mwanaume akuoe, utateseka,” she stated.
Unrealistic expectations
Mkamburi said that many women end up heartbroken after investing time and effort into men who never marry them, simply because they believed that their actions would earn them love and commitment. She urged women to focus on self-respect and understanding that marriage decisions are personal and based on timing, not effort.
She pointed out that some women spend years trying to please men through housework or support, only for those same men to marry other people.
“You can do everything for him, but if it’s not his time to marry, he won’t. Men marry because of time and alignment, not effort,” she emphasised.
According to Mkamburi’s message, love and marriage should not be viewed as rewards for effort or sacrifice. She encouraged women to act from choice, not pressure, and to understand that true partnership comes from mutual readiness.
Her remarks have ignited discussions among Kenyans about modern relationships and expectations between men and women.
