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7 dark psychology tricks that make people chase after you
05th January, 2026 03:20 PM
Most Kenyans, if not all, imagine having a cult-like or fanatic following around their endeavours.
As a result, many people brand themselves, open social media accounts, wear nice clothes, and polish their image, yet the energy still doesn’t match.
Attention does not come. Engagement feels forced. This has pushed many to search for so-called dark psychology tricks.
When explained properly, these ideas are not magic or manipulation. They are fundamental human behaviour patterns that psychologists have studied for years.
Below are seven commonly mentioned ideas, explained and made realistic.
Push-pull technique
This idea is based on balance. Giving attention and then allowing space increases interest.
According to psychologist Amir Levine, co-author of the book Attached, people often feel more attraction when there is a healthy rhythm of closeness and distance.
Constant availability reduces excitement, while having your own life creates curiosity. This is not about ignoring people but about not abandoning yourself to please others.
Scarcity effect
People value what feels limited. This has been studied extensively. Social psychologist Robert Cialdini explained in his research on influence that scarcity increases perceived value.
He discussed this principle in multiple lectures, including talks delivered at Stanford University. When your time and energy are always available, they lose value. When you set boundaries, people respect you more.
Emotional rollercoaster
Strong emotions create strong memories. In 1974, psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron conducted a study in Canada where men who experienced fear on a suspension bridge were more likely to feel attraction afterwards.
The brain misinterpreted excitement as attraction.
In real life, this means shared emotional moments like laughter, deep conversations, or new experiences build stronger bonds than routine alone.
Triangular desire
This idea is often mistaken for jealousy. In truth, it is about social proof. Robert Cialdini also discussed social proof as a key influence factor.
People are drawn to individuals who are respected or admired by others. In Kenyan society, reputation matters. When people see that others trust you, value you, or enjoy your presence, they are naturally curious about you too.
Reverse psychology
People resist being controlled. According to psychologist Jack Brehm, who developed the theory of psychological reactance in the 1960s, humans push back when they feel their freedom is threatened.
When someone feels pressured, they withdraw. When they feel trusted to choose, they lean in. This is why calm suggestions often work better than forceful demands.
Silence is used for space, not punishment
Silence becomes harmful when used to punish. However, space can be healthy.
Relationship expert John Gottman, speaking in several interviews including discussions with the American Psychological Association, explained that taking breaks during conflict helps people calm down and think clearly.
The danger comes when silence turns into stonewalling. Space should be communicated, not weaponised.
The yes ladder principle
Trust builds gradually. In 1966, psychologists Jonathan Freedman and Scott Fraser published research on what they called the foot-in-the-door technique.
Their study showed that people who agreed to small requests were more likely to agree to larger ones later. In real life, this means relationships grow through small, consistent interactions, not sudden pressure.
