The drunk uncle and other types of relatives during festive season
Every festive season, going upcountry in Kenya is never just about catching a matatu or boarding a bus. It is a journey into a living, breathing storybook full of characters you thought you knew but somehow manage to surprise you every year. The compound fills up with voices, laughter, and the occasional scolding. The smell of roasting meat, steaming pilau, and fresh sukuma wiki floats in the air, mixing with the dusty scent of the homestead.
As soon as you arrive, you can sense the usual chaos settling into place, the familiar relatives taking up their roles like a perfectly rehearsed, slightly chaotic play. Some arrive fashionably late, some early and already ready to boss everyone around, and some just appear as they materialise from thin air with a bag of gifts and stories that take half the day to unfold. It does not matter how much you planned or how tired the journey was; these personalities make the holiday season feel alive. Love them, laugh at them, or roll your eyes at them, but they are the heartbeat of every upcountry Christmas or festive gathering, and honestly, it would not be the same without them.
1. The drunk uncle
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This uncle starts the day calm and respectable, greeting everyone properly. As the hours pass, his voice grows louder and his stories longer. He talks about his glory days, missed opportunities, and big plans that never quite came to fruition. He dances without shame, laughs at his own jokes, and insists on giving advice nobody asked for. By evening, he is either leading songs or asleep on a chair, becoming both entertainment and a cautionary tale at the same time. You cannot help but love him because no holiday is complete without at least one memorable moment of his chaos.
2. The mothering auntie
This auntie runs the household without announcing it. She makes sure everyone has eaten, is warm, and feels included. If you sit too long, she brings food. If evening comes, she hands you a sweater even if you did not ask.
She knows who likes tea sweet, who hates onions, and who needs extra ugali. She may nag a little, but without her, the gathering would feel cold, disorganised, and frankly, a little lonely. She is the one who keeps everyone from missing their mother’s touch, even if your mother is right there. She is the first to get up when a child cries in a corner, even if the child is not hers.
3. The hardworking relative
This is the person who does the most but speaks the least. They wake up early to help prepare for the day and are always busy with something. Cleaning, cooking, fetching water, arranging chairs, they do it all quietly.
They rarely complain and often eat last. Everyone enjoys the holiday because of their effort, even though they rarely get credit. By the end of the day, when everything looks perfect, it is mostly their invisible work that made it happen.
4. The life of the party
When this cousin arrives, the mood changes instantly. Music comes on, people start laughing, and shyness disappears. They dance, joke, and pull even the most reserved family members into the fun. They know how to bring generations together, mixing old songs with new ones.
If the gathering feels dull, this is the person everyone waits for. Sometimes they even start small competitions, daring you to dance or sing, and everyone ends up laughing until the night grows late.
5. The one who is never home
This relative is rarely seen during the year but always shows up for the holidays. They come from town or far away with stories of traffic, work, and city life. They bring gifts, new slang, and confidence. Their stay is usually short, and they disappear before serious chores begin. Still, their visit is remembered long after they leave, and people keep talking about the “big city cousin” and the interesting life they live.
6. The tea master
They arrive fully informed and leave with even more information. This type of aunt knows which uncle got his hands in th.e wrong cookie jar last season. They know who is dating, who is struggling, and who is doing well. They speak softly but ask many questions.
By the end of the day, they have connected dots nobody else noticed. Annoying as they can be, they keep the family updated and entertained. And if there is ever drama, you can bet this relative will be right in the middle, either starting it or narrating it in the funniest way possible.
7. The elder Storyteller
This elder sits quietly and calls people over with stories from the past. They talk about family history, old disagreements, successes, and lessons learned. Some stories have been told many times, but they still matter.
They remind everyone where the family came from and why staying connected is important. By the time they finish, everyone has a little more patience, a few laughs, and a deeper appreciation for the family roots that brought them together.
