Sylvia Wakhisi @PeopleDailyKe
Polly Najori always admired twins. She would imagine the double blessing, double hugs, double kisses, mummy sandwiched in the middle and her heart would melt.
And five years after she got married to Nerbert Najori, her wish came true. She delivered fraternal twins who she named Matt and Abby. However, it has not been all joy.
“We both had a desire to get multiples, but we were not even remotely prepared for the bills that come with managing a high risk pregnancy, premature birth and the high cost of paying and buying two of everything,” says Polly who works as an ICT consultant.
The couple had found they were expecting twins during Polly’s second pre-natal appointment.
“I was experiencing severe morning sickness, something that made my husband to insist that our doctor check whether there was another foetus. And voila, the results revealed that I was carrying twins,” explains Polly.
The pregnancy was considered high risk.“I had more frequent antenatal visits and close monitoring to ensure that my pregnancy reached full term.
I went through some medical procedures that are not common for a singleton pregnancy, such as having steroid shots at 28 and 32 weeks to help mature the babies lungs to increase their chances of survival in case they came early.
I was also put on complete bed rest at 32 weeks as the pregnancy was straining my body,” she says.
For the couple, the last five years has been a rollercoaster of emotions, a learning experience. It was challenging to exclusively breastfeed them, especially because Polly had to go back to work after three months, but she managed.
Similar infections
“There was a lot to learn in our journey of raising twins. When they were younger, one of them would fall sick, and the other one would end up sick as well. More often, we found they would both have similar infections,” she says.
And they hand to depend on friends and relatives who had older children for hand me downs and thrift shopping to manage the cost of buying clothes.
The twins are currently in the same school and class though the teacher encourages them to sit separately. “They used to fight a lot, so we deliberately encouraged them to be friends and to learn to rely on each other. I found out that it did not come naturally for them to always want to spend time together,” Polly says.
However, Polly points out that she has had it tough when it came to hiring house helps.
Family lessons
“We make sure to vet anyone we expose our children to. We engage a professional agency for all our house help needs. This is because we get to have access to staff who are trained and best suited to our needs.
The agency shortlists the staff according to our needs and allows us to interview them. We prefer to work with house helps who have worked with more than one child with a small age gap that are below five years,” she says.
As a working mum, Polly says she plans her work schedule around business working hours unless there are special requests by her employer.
“I have made decisions to advance my career, but also keeping in mind that my children are still young and need my attention.
Hence I would not wish to engage with an employer whose values do not match with mine,” she says.
Polly terms her husband as her greatest support system. “He took a sabbatical leave and stayed with our children until they turned two years and three months.
I would admit that I had a lot of peace at work with the knowledge that he was home with the children,” she says.
For Polly, motherhood has taught her to be patient and listen – children will tell you so much about what is happening to them if you give them time.
“I have also been forced to work on myself as I have seen how children mirror grown-ups around them.
My biggest fear is my children rebelling against my teachings. I saw this a lot when I was young and in school. Parents had no clue of the true character of their children unless they were caught in a scandal.
I would wish for them to feel that they can be open to us, to allow us to walk with them as they transition to adulthood,” she says.
Her advice: “Kids are only young once. You can’t back time to teach lessons or to spend time with your children.
Sacrifice and spend time with your children in their early years and you will reap the benefits when they are older.
Don’t get lost earning a living and miss out on an opportunity to mentor a generation. Read parenting books and articles because you only have one chance to get it right.”
