Benjamin Zulu warns 50/50 approach may increase mental load on women in marriage
Life coach Benjamin Zulu has raised concerns over the growing debate around the 50/50 approach in modern marriages, arguing that unclear roles between partners may lead to emotional strain, especially for women.
Zulu suggests that while equality in relationships is often encouraged, confusion over responsibility can create tension in the home when expectations are not clearly defined from the beginning.
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“When rules are unclear, tension replaces peace,” Zulu noted, adding that challenges arise when one partner is expected to contribute equally financially but leadership and decision-making roles remain unclear.
He argues that in some relationships, when men do not take clear responsibility in planning, decision-making, and leadership, women often end up taking on additional roles beyond emotional and domestic support.
“When the woman has to think, overthink and plan because the man says, ‘Anybody can pay 50/50,'” he added.
“If a man refuses to step out rightly clearly in front, the woman must be partly male to keep the family running; she must make decisions, do the protection, do the planning, do the thinking, do the advising, and she will always be tensed and on the masculine.”
According to him, this situation can lead to increased mental pressure on women as they find themselves planning, advising, making key decisions, and managing day-to-day family stability without shared clarity on roles.
Zulu further claims that this imbalance may gradually affect emotional wellbeing if one partner consistently carries both practical and emotional responsibilities.
He adds that some men want authority in the household without taking corresponding responsibility, which he says contributes to confusion in modern relationships.
“That makes her loss identity that why women married when they were happy and they lost themselves after that. They seem to be doing well but when you come close, she’s hallow, she is sad, she is losing herself, she does not have composure, she has no joy, she cannot laugh, she’s overthinking, she’s carrying the leadership,” Zulu stated.
“Some men have refused leadership; many men want authority without responsibility.”
However, his remarks touch on a broader ongoing debate about modern marriage structures, where couples are increasingly redefining roles beyond traditional expectations.
Relationship experts generally emphasise that successful partnerships rely less on strict financial splits and more on communication, mutual agreement, and shared understanding of responsibilities.
As the 50/50 discussion continues to trend in relationship conversations, Zulu’s remarks add to the wider debate on how couples can balance equality, clarity, and emotional wellbeing in marriage.
