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How to take care of your mental health when everyone depends on you
05th May, 2026 02:59 PM
In many Kenyan families and friend groups, there’s always that one person people call first. The one who steps in when things fall apart. The one who sends money, gives advice, and somehow keeps everyone steady.
If you are that person, you probably do not even think twice about it; it’s just what you do. But being the “strong one” can be exhausting in ways that are hard to explain.
Most days, you’re busy solving problems and showing up for others. There’s little room left to ask yourself how you’re really doing. And even when the weight starts to show, it’s easy to brush it off. According to the Sollay Kenya Foundation, many people who take on supportive roles in families often carry stress quietly, which can build up over time and affect both mental and physical health.
The truth is, always being available comes at a cost. You may start to feel tired all the time, even after resting. Small things begin to irritate you. Some days, you just want to switch off, but you can not, because someone needs you.
Check on yourself
One of the simplest, but most important things you can do is check in with yourself. Ask yourself if you are okay. It sounds basic, but many people do not pause long enough to answer that question truthfully.
It also helps to accept that you do not have to carry everything alone. In many Kenyan homes, saying “I can’t” feels uncomfortable. You might worry about disappointing people or being seen as weak. But setting limits doesn’t mean you don’t care; it just means you’re human.
Even small boundaries can make a difference. It could be choosing not to pick up every late-night call, or explaining that you need time before helping with something. These are not acts of selfishness; they are ways of protecting your energy.
Rest matters
Rest matters too. Not just sleep, but moments where you are not responsible for anyone else. It could be a quiet walk, listening to your favourite music, or just sitting alone without thinking about the next problem to solve. These small breaks help you reset.
And then there’s talking. You do not always need a big, serious conversation. Sometimes, just opening up to someone you trust can ease the pressure. You might be surprised how much lighter you feel after saying things out loud.
Being strong doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs. It doesn’t mean carrying every burden in silence. Real strength is knowing when to pause, when to step back, and when to let someone else show up for you.
