Life Hacks

How to navigate awkward questions from in-laws during festive season

Paulette Mboga 15th December, 2025 08:02 PM

The festive season in Kenya is a time of joy, family, and, of course, in-laws.

While gatherings are filled with laughter, ugali, and festive tunes, there is one tradition that often leaves even the calmest person sweating under their kikoi or tie: awkward questions from in-laws.

Whether it’s about your career, marriage plans, or why you’re still single, these questions can hit harder. But fear not! With a little strategy and tact, you can survive and even enjoy the festive family chaos.

Stay calm and smile

First things first: breathe. When an in-law asks a question that makes you want to dive under the dining table, take a deep breath and smile. Your calm demeanour is your secret weapon.

Showing frustration only invites more probing questions. Remember, Auntie Wanja asking why you haven’t bought land yet isn’t personal. It’s her version of holiday small talk. Respond with a smile and maybe a simple “We’re working on it!”

Have a polite script ready

Preparation is everything. Before stepping into that decorated living room, have a few neutral responses ready.

“We’re still figuring it out,” or “That’s a great question; we’ll see,” can save you from stuttering or oversharing. Think of it as your festive survival kit, alongside the extra battery for your phone and the emergency mandazi.

Redirect the conversation

When questions start feeling like a full-blown cross-examination, gently steer the topic elsewhere. Ask about their holiday plans, the latest gospel songs, or how their kale is growing. Kenyans love a good story, so giving them something else to talk about can save everyone from awkward tension.

Use humour wisely

Humour is golden. If an in-law asks when you’ll get married or have children, a light joke can diffuse the tension. Something like, “Ah, I’m taking life one festive season at a time!” can make everyone laugh and move on without confrontation. Just be careful not to sound sarcastic. The goal is to entertain, not irritate.

Set gentle boundaries

Sometimes, you just need to protect your peace. Politely declining to answer certain questions is okay. Say, “I’d rather keep that private for now,” in a warm tone. Most in-laws will respect honesty, especially when paired with festive cheer and good food.

Navigating awkward in-law questions doesn’t have to be stressful. With calm and a little planning, you can enjoy the ugali, nyama choma, and festive vibes without sweating over every probing question.

This holiday season, let your strategy be simple: smile, laugh, and redirect when needed. After all, Christmas and New Year are for family, love, and enjoying moments together. Even if that includes surviving Auntie Wanja’s questions about your “plans.” Embrace the chaos, sip your kahawa, and be fully equipped to handle whatever comes your way.