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Marriage is not an achievement: Why millennials and Gen Z are rethinking commitment
25th November, 2025 09:12 PM
Marriage has become a major topic of debate in Kenya after a wave of online conversations and public comments questioning whether being in a committed relationship should still be seen as a life milestone.
For many Millennials and Gen Z, the answer is increasingly clear: marriage is optional and not an achievement.
Also watch: Gen Z vs Marriage! Scam or not?
The conversation gained traction after public figures, such as Dennis Itumbi, Head of Presidential Special Projects and the Creative Economy, publicly declared that marriage should not be viewed as a necessary stage of life.
“I am still thinking about the institution of marriage. I have my issues about the institution of marriage that I try to convince myself of,” Itumbi during an interview with SPM Buzz.
“I am opposed to it; I do not think it is a compulsory rite of life. I think it is there to make people happy. If the issue of marriage is children, I can get without marriage; if the issue is companionship, you can get companionship without marriage. I do not see one compelling reason why marriage is compulsory. Marriage is a good thing, but sio lazima. Marriage is not an achievement of life.”
His remarks sparked wide reactions on social media, with thousands of young Kenyans sharing their own views about marriage.
Here are some of the reasons the young generation views marriage as optional and not compulsory.
- Shifting priorities
A growing number of millennials and Gen Z say their priorities have changed. For them, success is no longer defined by how fast one marries but by personal growth, emotional well-being, and financial stability.
Many argue that they would rather take time to build their careers, start businesses, or focus on mental health before thinking about long-term relationships.
- Cost of living
The rising cost of living has also played a major role. Lavish weddings, dowry expectations, and the financial demands of modern life have pushed many young people to slow down or question the need for marriage at all.
Also watch: Cohabitation with no intention of marriage does not amount to marriage, says Supreme Court
For many young Kenyans, financial stress is now one of the top reasons couples delay formalising relationships.
- Negative reviews
Millennials and Gen Z are also more cautious about entering relationships. With the rise of public stories about toxic marriages, separations, and gender-based violence, many prefer to take their time before committing.
Social media has amplified these discussions, giving young people a platform to question traditions and openly share their fears, experiences, and shifting values.
- New forms of relationships
Another trend is the growing acceptance of alternative relationship paths.
Some young couples are comfortable living together without rushing to formalise the union. Others choose to prioritise companionship, co-parenting, or long-term dating without legal or religious ceremonies.
While marriage remains important in Kenyan culture, the younger generation is pushing for a more flexible understanding of relationships, one that respects personal choice over traditional expectations.
For Millennials and Gen Z, the message is simple, commitment should be intentional, not forced. And marriage, as many of them now say, is a choice, not an achievement.
Disclaimer: Views expressed in this article are the writer’s. They do not necessarily reflect views of K24 Digital or Mediamax Network Limited.
