There is nothing sweeter than the feeling of being in love, but what happens when you get into a romantic relationship with the wrong person?
People get into relationships for different reasons. While some people see it as a form of emotional support, others regard it as a means to get away from poverty or boredom. Meanwhile, some just want to have someone to love and care for while hoping they reciprocate.
The problem, however, comes when you are forcing someone to reciprocate the love and doing so much in that relationship to the point you end up being a simp.
Sam West on unhealthy relationship
Kenyan motivational speaker Sam West, while advising youngsters, listed down the characteristics of a one-sided relationship that can turn a romantic person into a simp.
During one of his motivational sessions on his social media account, he stated that there are so many indications that one can tell if they are forcing issues in a relationship.
Here are some of the red flags outlined by Sam West that people in a romantic relationship should watch out for.
- One-sided communication
Sam says if you are the one pushing communication, you are forcing issues, adding that a relationship without both parties initiating communication is as good as dead.
“You notice is only you who is pushing something, only you who is asking questions while the other person does not seem to be very interested to know more about you they are just answering but they are not asking about you,”
“Sometimes you are the one who initiates all calls, texts and sometimes they ignore them, you are even questioning why they are not picking up your calls, why are they not texting back, asking for a sit-down then you are forcing things,” he said.
2. They don’t inquire about you
“They are not concerned about how you are faring, is only you, who is keen and just asking how they are doing while they are just thinking about their things.”
3. They dismiss and cancel plans with you
“For instance, if you come up with an idea and say let’s meet on Saturday, they will dismiss that idea immediately and even if they agree and say it’s okay let’s meet, that day that you are supposed to meet for some reasons they decide to cancel the plans or just ignore the date and they don’t explain.”
4. Gut feeling
“When you have this gut feeling in your heart that you are in the relationship alone, sometimes the spirit inside you tells you this person is not for you they are not 100 per cent committed to you, the spirit can tell you the way to go and the person to pursue.”
5. You are always the one coming up with plans
“You are always the one who comes up with activities for the two of you to do but he or she does not put effort or suggestions.”
6. You are forcing this person to define the relationship
“If you do not know where you are lying in the relationship you are forcing issues, you do not know whether you are the girlfriend, whether you are the boyfriend, you do not know whether you are dating.”
7. You are forcing them to build a future with you
“If you are the one initiating and proposing to start living together, start working towards the marriage, forcing them to be more committed and it has been more than five years he has never proposed or talked about marriage my friend you are forcing issues.”
8. You keep begging him for money
“If someone loves you the natural response is to give and if he is not giving there is an element that you are forcing issues in that relationship.”
9. They openly show that they don’t need you
“They have shown you all the signs that they do not want you but you are still calling and begging them to have a conversation with you asking for forgiveness and they still show no signs that he/she is ready to come back to you stop pushing too hard.”
10. You are forcing him to introduce you to his family and friends
“If someone is so much in love with you they will introduce you to everyone but if you are the one pushing him to tell you his associates you are forcing issues, “Sam West explained.
Sam on healthy relationship
To avoid simping, Sam, advised those in a one-sided relationship to stop pushing if they notice the other person is not interested adding that those who are not interested should be frank about their feelings.
In addition, he noted that forcing issues in a relationship may lead to depression adding that if anyone finds themselves in such a situation they should divert the love to themselves.
