Milly wa Jesus recalls nearly abandoning her kids over postpartum depression
Content creators and YouTubers, the Wajesus Family, have shared that they recently sought the help of a therapist following Milly’s struggle with postpartum depression.
In a video shared on their YouTube page on Monday, March 10, 2025, Milly reflected on all her pregnancies and revealed how the most recent one left her battling emotional turmoil, suffering from the mental health condition without her full awareness.
Dark thoughts
The entire story unfolded after the therapist, who was also featured in the video, asked her whether she had ever experienced dark thoughts following her latest pregnancy, to which she admitted that she had indeed harboured some.
That was when she opened up about having thoughts of simply waking up one day and walking away, leaving her children behind as she felt she was not enough and was, in turn, burdening those around her with the babies.
The content creator even broke down at this point as she recalled having entertained such distressing thoughts and noted that she had never experienced anything more unsettling than the idea of abandoning her children.
“I remember in the first weeks of January, I felt like, what if I just walked away and left these children alone? I felt that, and I would just have these moments where I thought I could leave them behind. I kept feeling like maybe these children were the reason I was in this state. I would just be alone, and I would feel like I wasn’t capable of taking care of my kids on my own. Maybe that is one of the darkest thoughts I have ever had. But to be honest, nothing beyond that,” she stated.
As the therapy session intensified, Milly was also asked whether she had ever felt like she could harm her babies, but she denied it, affirming that even the thoughts of abandoning them had never resurfaced.
However, she recalled that days after the birth of Baby Luxe, whom they officially introduced on social media for the first time in January 2025, the depression had weighed heavily on her, and she often found herself crying uncontrollably without fully understanding why.
“Do you ever have feelings like maybe I shouldn’t be a mother? It’s a safe space. You are not a bad person. Have you ever had thoughts of harming the baby, whether intentionally or unintentionally?” the therapist asked.
“Yes, in early January, I felt like I was too much of a burden to those around me… No, the thoughts of ever wanting to leave the babies and go have never come back,” she added.
Anger issues
Milly then took a moment to open up about a phase where she would get angry too quickly over minor issues, admitting that it almost cost her marriage.
She recalled one particular instance when she had been waiting for Kabi to bring their suitcases down to the car, and when he delayed, she became extremely upset, packed her belongings, and was ready to leave him.
She confessed that she could not explain why these emotions were overwhelming her, but at that moment, during the suitcase altercation, she had even begun contemplating returning to her mother’s home.
“I was ready to leave, and I remember thinking, I’m ready to go. I picked up the suitcases and left. But then again, I asked myself, How will I take care of the kids? Or should I just go back to my parents’ place? I was getting angry over the smallest things. But the kids—I never directed my anger at them. Kabi was taking care of them, so they weren’t always in my face, and I never had to confront them directly. In January, I would cry a lot in the bathroom. He was busy looking after the kids, and I felt like I needed him, yet when I was pregnant, he was always there for me. He would be there, bathing me and taking care of me. So I felt like this was a case of ‘Now that you have given birth, hand over the baby and carry on’,” she said.
Watch the video here:
