Mukoma Wa Ngugi: My dad and I drifted after I spoke about his abuse of my mom

Mukoma Wa Ngugi, a writer and professor, has shared a deeply personal account of his relationship with his father, the renowned Kenyan author Ngugi wa Thiong’o, who passed away recently.

In a candid interview on Friday, June 6, 2025, Mukoma revealed the tensions that arose after he publicly spoke about his father’s physical abuse of his mother, which strained their bond. Despite this, he remembers his father with love and respect for shaping his life and career.

“I tweeted about my father physically abusing my mother, and that created acrimony between us. So, our last conversations were contentious, but that is not how I remember him,” Mukoma said.

Mukoma, a professor and writer himself, described a complex relationship with his father. Their final talks were heated, sparked by a tweet where Mukoma addressed the abuse. He doesn’t excuse his father’s actions but understands the cultural context of Ngugi’s stoic upbringing.

Mukoma spoke of the pain he feels, saying he loved his father deeply despite their differences. Ngugi, a literary giant known for his work on decolonising African minds, was not just a father but a towering intellectual influence on Mukoma.

A family bond built on words and ideas

Growing up, Mukoma and his siblings, three of whom are also writers, shared a unique bond with their father through words. While other families played sports, the Ngugi family “played with language.”

They exchanged manuscripts, offering feedback in what Mukoma called an “internal familial workshop.” These moments, filled with intellectual debates and shared creativity, are what Mukoma misses most. He recalls Ngugi teaching him chess, though he never won a game, and their lively back-and-forth discussions.

Ngugi’s philosophy of decolonising African thought profoundly shaped Mukoma. He credits his father’s insistence on embracing African languages and culture for giving him the confidence to navigate the world as a writer and scholar. Mukoma noted that his father’s influence was both personal and intellectual, shaping not just who he is but how he sees the world.

Though their relationship wasn’t always smooth, Mukoma’s reflections paint a picture of a father-son bond marked by love, conflict, and mutual respect.

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