5 obvious signs you’re dating a narcissist
By David Nthua, October 24, 2025Many are suffering in relationships and marriages they were never supposed to be in because they mistook control for care and charm for love.
What starts as deep affection often turns into confusion, silence and emotional exhaustion.
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When you find yourself constantly questioning your worth or doubting your memory, you might not be the problem. You could be dating a narcissist. Narcissism is not just pride.
It is a pattern of self-centred behaviour that drains you of confidence and peace.
Here are clear signs that the person you love may be in love only with themselves.
Everything revolves around them
At first, their confidence may have drawn you in. They speak proudly about their dreams, success and struggles, and you admire their passion.
Over time, however, you realise that your thoughts and feelings rarely matter. Every conversation finds its way back to them.
When you talk about your day, they quickly shift the focus to theirs. When you share your pain, they somehow become the victim.
A narcissist needs attention, not understanding. They want an audience, not a partner.
They love and then withdraw
In the beginning, they make you feel like the most special person in the world. They call often, flatter you, and promise a bright future together.
But once you start trusting them, their warmth fades. The calls reduce, the compliments stop, and the affection feels earned instead of given.
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You start wondering what you did wrong when, in truth, you did nothing. They use love to trap and distance to control.
What they want most is to see you chasing the version of them that first captured your heart.
They never take responsibility
When problems arise, somehow it is always your fault. They twist your words, deny what they said, and make you question your memory.
When you try to talk calmly, they accuse you of overreacting. Narcissists hate accountability. To them, admitting fault means losing power.
They would rather make you feel guilty than own their mistakes. You end up apologising for peace that never lasts.
Your emotions are dismissed
Every time you express hurt, they say you are being too emotional or too dramatic. You soon stop sharing your feelings because it leads nowhere. This is how they gain control.
Narcissists do not want to understand your emotions; they want to silence them. They make you believe your reactions are wrong so that you depend on them for what is right.
You feel drained, not loved
Healthy love brings peace. Narcissistic love drains it. You find yourself walking on eggshells, trying to please them, and forgetting who you are.
You keep giving but never feel seen. If this sounds familiar, you need to protect your peace. You cannot heal someone who refuses to see their wrongs.
Love should lift you, not leave you tired. You deserve a partner who listens, respects, and loves you for who you are, not for how well you serve their ego.