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Why some women cheat moments after getting married
05th May, 2026 11:02 PM
Infidelity is often discussed as something that happens later in marriage.
But counsellors and researchers note that for some couples, it can begin much earlier, sometimes within the first months.
Understanding why this happens requires moving beyond stereotypes and looking at the social, emotional, and psychological realities that shape modern relationships.
It is rarely about one single reason
Marriage experts consistently point out that cheating is not caused by one factor.
It is usually a combination of unmet expectations, personal history, and relationship dynamics.
A 2025 study on married couples in coastal Kenya found that infidelity remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown, with both men and women engaging in extramarital relationships under different circumstances.
This suggests the issue is complex and not limited to one gender or stage of marriage.
Emotional disconnect after marriage
One of the most cited reasons is emotional dissatisfaction.
Some women enter marriage with certain expectations around attention, communication, or affection.
When these expectations are not met early, the disappointment can be immediate.
Relationship counsellors often observe that emotional neglect, rather than physical dissatisfaction, is a key driver.
In global relationship studies, a significant number of women who cheat report feeling emotionally deprived in their marriages.
This means that even shortly after marriage, a lack of connection can push someone to seek validation elsewhere.
Pre existing relationship issues
In some cases, the problems do not start after the wedding. They were already present before it.
Local research in Nairobi has shown that low marital satisfaction is strongly linked to infidelity.
Couples who enter marriage with unresolved conflict or poor communication are more likely to experience cheating later.
Marriage does not automatically fix relationship issues. It can, in fact, expose them more quickly.
Changing expectations and social pressure
There is also a growing shift in how marriage is perceived.
Some experts argue that modern relationships carry competing expectations.
On one hand, there is pressure to settle down. On the other, there is a strong emphasis on personal fulfilment and independence.
According to Kenyan marriage counsellors, factors such as environment, upbringing, and exposure to different lifestyles can influence behaviour in marriage, including infidelity.
For some women, marriage may not align with their personal expectations, leading to early dissatisfaction.
Financial and lifestyle factors
Economic realities can also play a role.
Studies in Kenya have identified financial strain and economic pressures as contributors to infidelity among married couples.
In practical terms, this may involve seeking financial support, lifestyle upgrades, or security outside the marriage.
While not always openly discussed, these factors can influence behaviour early in the relationship.
The role of personal history
Individual background matters.
People who grew up in environments where infidelity was normalised, or who have experienced unstable relationships in the past, may carry those patterns into marriage.
Experts note that behaviour is often learned. Without conscious change, past patterns can repeat themselves even in a new commitment.
A balanced perspective
It is important to avoid generalisations. Not all women cheat, and when infidelity happens, responsibility lies with the individual, not gender.
Research shows that while men still report higher rates of cheating overall, women’s involvement is significant and shaped by different factors.
What stands out is that infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues rather than a sudden or random decision.
