‘I deserve this’ – How stress can influence your spending habits

After a stressful week at work, a difficult conversation or simply a bad day, it can be tempting to buy something and tell yourself, “I deserve this.”

It could be a new outfit, takeaway meal, beauty product, phone accessory or something you have been eyeing online. The purchase can feel like a small reward for getting through a difficult moment.

This is often referred to as retail therapy, where people shop to improve their mood or cope with negative emotions. While treating yourself occasionally is not necessarily a problem, emotional spending can become difficult when purchases are mainly used to manage stress, sadness, boredom or disappointment.

Why the phrase feels so convincing

The idea of rewarding yourself can make a purchase feel justified. If you have worked hard or gone through something difficult, spending money may feel like a way of acknowledging your effort.

Shopping can also provide a temporary sense of control. When other parts of life feel uncertain, choosing what to buy and immediately getting something you want can create a short-lived feeling of satisfaction.

There is also the excitement that comes with getting something new. Looking for an item, placing an order and finally receiving it can give people something positive to focus on, especially when they are having a difficult day.

The problem may arise when the reward becomes the main way of dealing with uncomfortable emotions.

When treating yourself becomes a habit

Emotional purchases are not always expensive. Small purchases made repeatedly can also affect your finances. Buying coffee, clothes, cosmetics, food or other items every time you feel stressed can gradually become an expensive coping habit.

One way to recognise the pattern is to notice what you are feeling before you shop. Are you buying something because you genuinely need or want it, or because you are trying to change your mood?

It can also help to pause before making a purchase. Give yourself some time before checking out and ask whether you would still want the item if you were having a good day.

Treating yourself does not always have to involve spending money. Watching a favourite show, taking a walk, calling a friend, resting or enjoying time away from work can also provide a break without affecting your budget.

The goal is not to feel guilty about buying something you enjoy. It is to understand why you are buying it and make sure a difficult emotion is not making financial decisions for you.