Why some men above 25 years are shying away from marriage

In recent years, more Kenyan men, especially millennials and Gen Z, have been delaying marriage or avoiding it altogether.

While marriage was once seen as a natural milestone immediately after one got a stable job, today’s young men are approaching it with more caution, and their reasons reflect the realities of modern life.

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This trend has forced President William Ruto to encourage them to embrace marriage and steer clear of the trend of club-hopping.

“Those of you who are above the age of 25, get married. Wacha kuzunguka unatoka kwa club hii inaingia kwa club hii unaenda hio ingine,” Ruto encouraged.

Here are some of the reasons Kenyan men above 25 years shy away from marriage.

• Not an achievement

Many Millennials and Gen Z do not consider marriage a life milestone; according to them, it is optional and not an achievement.

Dennis Itumbi, Head of Presidential Special Projects and the Creative Economy, publicly declared that marriage should not be viewed as a necessary stage of life.

“I am opposed to it; I do not think it is a compulsory rite of life. I think it is there to make people happy. If the issue of marriage is children, I can get without marriage; if the issue is companionship, you can get companionship without marriage. I do not see one compelling reason why marriage is compulsory. Marriage is a good thing, but sio lazima. Marriage is not an achievement of life.”Itumbi during an interview with SPM Buzz.

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• Cost of living

Another big concern is the rising cost of living, which makes marriage feel like a heavy financial responsibility at a time when salaries are not growing, but expenses keep rising. Rent, food, transport, and bills have become a daily struggle, making the idea of starting a family feel overwhelming.

For many, the pressure to “provide” is too high when even basic needs already stretch their income.

• Unemployment

Additionally, unemployment and job insecurity make long-term planning difficult. Many Kenyan men in their late 20s and early 30s do not have steady, well-paying employment, and they fear entering marriage without stability.

To them, delaying marriage is not rejection but survival.

• Fear of divorce

Many young men have grown up watching parents, relatives, and even celebrities go through painful breakups, public drama, and bitter separations.

This has created a fear of entering a commitment that may not work, especially in a digital age where relationship issues quickly go viral.

• Redefining life priorities

Unlike older generations who followed a clear path of school–work–marriage, young people today are exploring personal growth, careers, side hustles, travel, and self-discovery before settling down.

This generation is more aware of mental health, personal boundaries, and the importance of stability before committing to long-term responsibilities.

• Social media pressure

Platforms like TikTok and Instagram have normalised “soft life”, independence, and casual dating, shifting expectations around relationships.

Some men feel they cannot meet the financial or lifestyle standards portrayed online, while others prefer to remain single and avoid the pressure altogether.