Kenyan millennials and Gen Zs are known for having creative minds and in 2024, they came up with slang phrases that were used to describe unusual happenings in a romantic relationship.
Today, let us focus on the phrase simp because many people who are simps mistake simping for being romantic.
Who is a simp?
Simp, which is a short form of the word simpleton, is a slang phrase that is largely used by the young generation in Kenya and it is loosely meant to mean a person who is overly desperate and needy for love and affection from an opposite gender but ends up putting themselves in a submissive position with hopes of winning over their potential romantic partner.
Typically, a simp shows excessive love, sympathy, affection and attention towards another person who does not reciprocate the same feelings.
Simps are usually taken for granted and they think they are being romantic but what they do not know is that they are losing their value and recognition in that person.
While there is nothing wrong with being attentive, affectionate or a bit submissive to the person you are in love with, if you are in this position with someone who is not romantically interested in you, you are simping and it’s bad for you since it might end up crashing your self-esteem.
Here are some of the signs that you are simply simping and not being romantic;
Traits of a simp
- Showing up for someone who is not romantically interested in you
This is one of the red flags that you are turning into a simp because if someone has no feelings for you, why are you always there for them and playing the role of a partner?
- You are always trying to impress
You are always trying to impress and treat them like royalty while they are not reciprocating the energy.
- You put yourself last
Even though there are some situations in life where you should think of others and put their needs a little before your own, if you are doing it constantly to someone you are in love with and they do not appreciate or reciprocate your kind gesture then you are simping.
- Letting them walk all over you
Letting someone walk all over you, say or do whatever they please for the sake of love is not going to build a strong relationship but it lowers your self-esteem.
- You are too submissive
Being submissive in a romantic relationship is a good thing, especially when it is a lady but being overly compliant to gain the approval from an emotionally absent partner is simping.
How to stop simping
Here are some of the ways to stop simping and make your romantic life more fun.
- Make yourself less available
Never drop everything for someone especially if they are not interested in you. You can only be there for them when they really need you but do not change your plans for them when is not an emergency.
- Avoid doing unprompted favours
It is fine to do favours for someone you love once in a while, but if it is not reciprocated, it might be time to cut them off or stop doing those favours because, in a healthy relationship, there is an equal amount of give and take.
- Stop seeking validation
Doing everything you can to please someone just to get a compliment or validation makes you look desperate.
If you like seeking approval from others, you need to stop and start building your self-esteem and raising your confidence so that you can find validation in yourself and not from other people.
- Set your boundaries
Simps are often used because they do not know how to set healthy boundaries.
It is important to set and make the other person aware of your boundaries as soon as possible and speak up whenever they try to overstep them to avoid being manipulated.
- Prioritize your family and friends
Try not to let your romantic relationship take over your life. Stop cancelling plans to spend time with family and friends for the person you love and who may or may not be interested in you.
- Do not overdo it
Simps overdo it with romantic gestures to the point that it does not feel natural and it makes a person feel awkward. Stay away from those grand gestures because it pushes them away.
- Find a partner who truly loves you
Stop chasing and clinging to those who are not interested in you with the hope that they will change their mind if you show them enough attention and affection.
- Stop calling and texting them all the time
Simps are always on the phone with the person they are deeply in love with not knowing that their constant calls and texts make their partners think they are idle.
- Put yourself first
Most simps make the mistake of putting the needs of the person they love before their own. When you put yourself first before others, you will realize that you have supreme influence and believe in what you can do.
- Learn to say no
Simps do whatever their partners say, even if it displeases them because they desperately seek their love and attention.
However, there is power when you disagree with what you do not subscribe to. People of high value know what they want and do not tolerate just anyone or anything.
As we start a new year, let us make our love story different.
