Clever ways to tell if your man has a side chick
By Valerian Khakayi, August 22, 2025Perhaps you have heard people joking around with phrases like ‘umegongewa‘,’utagongewa‘ or ‘Nairobi is one big bedroom.‘
Behind the humour, these sayings reflect a painful reality of infidelity, which is a common topic in many relationships, and suspicions about side chicks are part of everyday conversations.
While the jokes might make people laugh, for those going through it, cheating is no laughing matter.
Even though there is not a single indication that your man is unfaithful, certain behavioural patterns and changes when pieced together can reveal more than words ever will.
Here are some of the clever ways to know he is having an extramarital affair.
Changes in phone behaviour
If he becomes overly protective of his phone, like putting a password when it had none, constantly changing passwords, carrying it everywhere, stepping out to take calls, switching it off or putting it on flight mode whenever you are together or always placing it face down, it could be a red flag.
A man hiding something often guards his device like treasure.
Emotional distance
He is showing affection to someone else if his behaviour suddenly changes and he becomes colder and less affectionate towards you.
A partner who cheats frequently becomes emotionally distant. He may be diverting his attention elsewhere if he avoids intimacy, seems less interested in conversations, or acts strangely irritable.
Spends less time
It could be a warning sign if your partner abruptly starts to avoid spending time with you, whether it’s by skipping date nights, cutting conversations short, or persistently saying he’s “too busy.”
It is important to pay attention when excuses start to sound clichéd and ambiguous.
He accuses you of cheating
Sometimes, a guilty partner projects their behaviour onto the other party. If your man constantly accuses you of being unfaithful without reason.
In many cases, this blame shifting is used as a cover-up tactic of their deeper guilt he is accusing you of what he is guilty of.
Unusual financial habits
When his financial habits change, like unexpected expenses, missing cash, or secretive spending habits may indicate that he is financing another relationship.
Social media privacy
When he puts his social media account private or changes his WhatsApp settings can raise suspicions. Many affairs today leave digital footprints.
Friends acting strange
Sometimes, his close friends know more than you do. If they seem uncomfortable around you, avoid eye contact, or slip up with awkward comments, like ‘ulipea nini ndugu yetu’ or overpraising you and calling you pet names like ‘our wife’, ‘ shemiji’, all of a sudden, it might mean they are hiding his secrets.
Sudden change of fashion sense
Your man may be trying to impress someone else by following their fashion sense if he suddenly starts dressing differently, purchasing new colognes, or grooming more than usual, without a good explanation.
Disclaimer
Discovering whether your man has a side chick is not about being paranoid, it is about being aware. However, before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to gather facts and approach the situation calmly.