‘Stop trying to make your spouse like you’ – Kathy Kiuna advises married couples
By Valerian Khakayi, December 15, 2025Lady bishop Kathy Kiuna has shared powerful advice for married couples, urging them to embrace the differences between spouses instead of trying to mould each other in their own image.
Speaking during a church sermon at Jubilee Christian Church (JCC) on Sunday, December 14, 2025, Kathy said that couples should stop trying to make their spouse like themselves, as this can prevent enjoyment in the marriage.
She explained that spouses are different by design, and these differences in temperament are meant to help them appreciate and enjoy each other.
“The difference is in your power, stop making your husband or wife look like you, there will not be enjoyment in that marriage because you are making someone become like you. they are not like you, and the difference in temperament is so that you can be able to enjoy each other’s differences,” Kathy said.
Kathy emphasised the importance of self-reflection and surrendering to God’s Word, which she refers to as the mirror.
“I believe the Holy Spirit will bring such a healing in your relationship. The key is to let the mirror, which is the word of God transform you. The mirror is meant for you not your spouse. When you look into it you see yourself. You see the spots and wrinkles that God wants you to deal with so that your life can be like He commands,” she added.
Reflecting on her own marriage, Kathy admitted that surrendering to God’s guidance was transformative.
“To be honest if my marriage was not surrendered to the mirror it wasn’t going to be beautiful because I came into it with my notions and cultures. When I surrendered, it was a journey, but God showed me how powerful surrender was. You don’t blame the mirror, you just adjust what it reveals,” Kathy disclosed.
Kathy Kiuna said that a lack of patience with one’s spouse can destroy the qualities God has placed in them.
“If you and your husband are not patient with your spouse, you are killing what God has placed in them,” she added.
Kathy’s advice encourages couples to focus on personal growth and spiritual alignment, rather than trying to change their spouse, as a key to a fulfilling and harmonious marriage.