Why single dads delay love even when ready
By David Nthua, January 1, 2026Even without explaining much, many Kenyans can unanimously agree that men often take time before they think of remarrying, whether after the death of a wife or following divorce.
For a man, it is possible to stay for even 10 years without having someone they call a wife, quietly raising children, building routines, and learning to live differently.
Kenyan life coach Robert Burale is a prime example. Over the years, he has publicly shared that he has remained single for a long time since his marriage ended and has never had any affair with a woman
He has acknowledged dating, but settling down again has never appeared rushed.
This pattern is common among single dads in Kenya, and it raises a question many people ask privately. If they are emotionally ready, why do they still delay love?
Responsibility.
According to a 2025 phenomenological study titled Understanding the Silent Struggles: The Lived Experiences of Single Fathers, researchers found that single fathers often prioritise financial provision, emotional care, and household stability over romantic relationships.
The study notes that many fathers intentionally delay new commitments to avoid disrupting their children’s emotional balance.
Emotional reflection
A qualitative study published in 2024 in the Journal of Social Psychology and Family Studies observed that men who experience divorce or spousal loss often enter prolonged periods of self-assessment.
In a 2023 analysis by the African Population and Health Research Center on fatherhood in urban Kenya, researchers noted that men are culturally expected to be stable providers and moral anchors.
The report explained that single fathers who focus on parenting and work are socially affirmed, while those who remarry quickly may face quiet scrutiny from family and community circles.
Emotional independence
According to a 2022 ethnographic study published by Marquette University on full-time single fathers, many men develop strong self-reliance after years of parenting alone.
The study found that once men adapt to managing emotional and domestic responsibilities independently, romantic relationships become optional rather than necessary, leading to slower decision-making processes regarding commitment.
Trust also takes time to rebuild.
A 2021 report from the Institute for Family Studies on post-divorce parenting found that fathers often become more cautious when children are involved.
The research concluded that men weigh long-term compatibility, parenting values, and emotional safety more heavily than attraction alone, which naturally delays commitment.
Mental well-being cannot be ignored.
According to a 2019 study published in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinities, single fathers experience higher stress levels compared to married fathers, largely due to solo parenting demands.
Researchers noted that this stress can reduce emotional capacity for new romantic attachments until stability is restored.
In the end, delaying love does not always mean being unready. For many single dads, it reflects responsibility, reflection, and intention.
In the Kenyan context, love is not avoided. It is approached carefully, with patience and a deep awareness of what is at stake.