Black Tax: Why you might end up losing yourself while supporting family
By Valerian Khakayi, June 10, 2026For many employed Kenyans, payday is not just about paying personal bills or saving for future goals.
It is also about sending money upcountry, paying school fees for siblings, helping parents with medical expenses, contributing to family emergencies, and supporting relatives who are struggling financially.
This responsibility, commonly referred to as “black tax“, has become a reality for many young professionals. While helping family is often seen as a duty and a source of pride, it can sometimes come at a personal cost.
Many people find themselves building other people’s futures while their own dreams remain on hold.
Weight of being a breadwinner
In many Kenyan households, the first child or family member to secure a stable job automatically becomes the go-to person whenever financial needs arise.
A salary that looks sufficient on paper can quickly disappear after rent, transport, food, school fees, hospital bills, and monthly support for relatives.
As a result, some people spend years supporting siblings through school, helping parents build homes, or paying family debts without making significant progress in their own lives.
They postpone buying land, building a house, starting a business, investing, or even starting a family because their income is constantly stretched.
When you put your goals aside
Supporting loved ones is admirable, but problems arise when it becomes impossible to separate family responsibilities from personal ambitions.
Some people reach their 30s or 40s only to realise they have spent years financing everyone else’s dreams while neglecting their own.
Their siblings have graduated, relatives have improved their lives, and parents are comfortable, yet they have few savings, no investments, and no financial safety net.
In some cases, they feel trapped in a cycle where the more they give, the more they are expected to give.
Emotional toll
Black tax is not only a financial burden. It can also affect a person’s emotional and mental well-being.
Many people struggle with guilt whenever they try to prioritise themselves. Saying “no” to a family request can feel selfish, even when they genuinely cannot afford to help.
Others live under constant pressure, knowing that several people depend on their income every month.
This can lead to stress, burnout, anxiety, and feelings of resentment, especially when their sacrifices go unnoticed.
Why setting boundaries matters
Financial experts often advise people to support family members within their means while still planning for their own future.
Helping relatives should not mean sacrificing your entire financial well-being.
Setting boundaries, creating a budget, and having honest conversations about what you can realistically afford can help reduce pressure.
It is also important to remember that securing your future is not selfish. Saving, investing, buying property, pursuing further education, or starting a business are all important steps toward long-term financial stability.
Finding a balance
The reality is that many Kenyan families depend on those who are employed, especially during difficult economic times.
However, supporting family and building your own future should not be mutually exclusive.
The goal is to find a balance where you can lend a helping hand without losing yourself in the process.
After all, if you spend years taking care of everyone else while neglecting your own needs, you may eventually find yourself with little to show for your sacrifices.
Helping family is noble, but your dreams, goals, and future matter too.