Benjamin Zulu explains how money can push partners into cheating
By Valerian Khakayi, July 17, 2026Relationship coach and author Benjamin Zulu has explained how financial assistance can sometimes create situations where emotional or intimate boundaries are crossed in relationships.
Speaking about money and relationships, Zulu, in a video shared on Friday, July 17, 2026, said financial support between men and women can sometimes create a sense of obligation, with some people interpreting help as something that should be repaid in other ways.
“Money opens doorways, and usually when a guy has lent the lady money, she would not pay back in money. When the guy has assisted a girl with money, she will say, ‘Thank you, but I owe you one,'” Zulu said.
He explained that some people use such statements to imply that they are willing to offer something beyond financial repayment, warning that money can sometimes blur boundaries between people.
“That is the language they use to say, ‘Come for your pay when you are ready,'” he added.
Zulu further asked couples to consider how they would view similar situations involving other people close to them, noting that financial transactions alone do not necessarily involve romantic intentions.
He gave an example of a nanny borrowing money from her employer’s husband or a younger sister asking for financial help, saying such situations may simply be about assistance rather than intimacy.
“When there is discussion of money, the man is helping a woman with money. Just imagine if your nanny was to borrow your husband Ksh 1,000; they did not talk about intimacy if your younger sister had borrowed Ksh 5,000,” Zulu stated.
Money and Infidelity
Money can sometimes complicate relationships when financial support creates emotional dependence or unclear boundaries.
Benjamin Zulu noted that helping someone financially may, in some cases, create a sense of obligation that goes beyond repayment.
He explained that financial assistance between unrelated partners can sometimes be misunderstood, with gratitude developing into emotional attachment and creating situations that may strain existing relationships.
Such situations require clear boundaries to prevent misunderstandings and protect trust between partners.
However, money alone does not cause infidelity. Trust, communication and the boundaries couples set play a major role in protecting relationships.