Family gatherings 101: Tips to escape the awkward ‘when are you getting married?’ question
By William Muthama, November 22, 2025The festive season is here, and for many Kenyans, that means heading back home for family gatherings.
While it’s a time for laughter, food, and celebration, it also comes with one dreaded question that seems to pop up at every meal: “When are you getting married?” Whether you’re single, dating, or just not ready, handling this question gracefully can be tricky. Fortunately, there are ways to survive these moments with your peace and sense of humour intact.
Have ready response
Preparation is key. Think of a polite, funny, or vague response that you can use whenever the question comes up. Something like “I’m enjoying life for now” or “Waiting for the right person” works well.
A light-hearted answer defuses tension and shows relatives you’re not bothered by the question. You can even add a playful twist: “I’ll let you know after the New Year celebrations!”
Redirect the conversation
If you don’t want to answer directly, redirect the topic. Compliment a relative’s cooking, ask about school or work, or bring up a recent family event.
For instance, “Auntie, your mandazi looks amazing! How did you make them?” This subtle shift can take the spotlight off you without offending anyone, and most relatives will happily chat about themselves instead.
Use humour
Humour is your best friend during family visits. Jokingly exaggerate your “plan,” like, “I’m thinking 2050, mark your calendar!” or “I’ll let you know after my 50th birthday bash.”
A little laughter goes a long way and often ends the interrogation quickly.
Flip the spotlight
Sometimes, going on the “offensive” helps. Ask relatives about their plans, hobbies, or updates on their children.
Questions like, “How’s your new job going?” or “Tell me about your latest trip” shifts the focus while showing genuine interest in them.
Keep it short and confident
Remember, you don’t owe anyone a long explanation. A simple, confident “Not yet, still enjoying life” is often enough. Over-explaining only invites more questions, so be firm, calm, and polite.
The key is to stay relaxed and remember the festive season is about bonding, not interrogation. With these strategies, you can navigate your rural visits or family gatherings without stress, keeping your holiday spirits high while skilfully dodging the dreaded marriage question.