Benjamin Zulu says selfish man cannot lead a marriage
By Valerian Khakayi, April 13, 2026Renowned life coach and author Benjamin Zulu has shared strong views on the kind of man he believes is fit for marriage, warning that selfishness is a major reason many unions fail.
Speaking on relationships and marriage, in a video shared on his social media on Monday, April 13, 2026, Zulu urged women to choose partners who understand the responsibility that comes with being a husband.
According to him, a man must accept the roles of leadership, provision, and sacrifice, putting his family before his own personal interests.
“When it comes to men, ladies get a man who has accepted leadership and provision and the sacrificial role of a husband, who puts the family first, the wife first, and the kids first,” Zulu said.
He argued that many marriages are struggling today because some men prioritise themselves above their wives and children.
“A selfish man cannot lead a marriage, that is why many marriages are collapsing, because man is selfish, he puts himself first, everything he takes for himself,” he stated.
“You need a man who has accepted that the sacrificial job of being a husband requires putting the wife and the children first.”
Other quantities in men
Zulu further emphasised the importance of financial planning, noting that marriage comes with significant responsibilities that require preparation and structure.
He cautioned women against settling down with men who lack a clear financial plan.
“Number two is a man who has organised his finances,” Zulu added.
According to him, a man should already have a strategy for handling bills and responsibilities, rather than relying on hope or vague promises.
“If a man has not planned how he will pay bills every month do not marry him, he does not know what marriage is,” he stated.
“Marriage is expensive; it requires maintenance. Does he have a plan for his money,he says we shall figure it out I have faith. We should be already have a solid plan; even if the money is not here, he is ready to pick up.”
Beyond finances, the life coach also highlighted the need for a man to have vision and direction.
He explained that a husband should be able to guide his partner, communicate clearly, and outline the future he envisions for his family.
“This man should be able to teach you, should be able to guide, cast vision, communicate,” Zulu added.
“Those basic qualities of saying this is where we are going, this is whaty we are going to create, this is where am taking you, this is what I expect, and this is what you to do. He should be able to describe where you are going.”
He noted that a man who cannot articulate his plans or direction in life may struggle to lead effectively in a marriage.
“If he cannot talk or articulate where you are going, he is just there you are the one asking questions no, he should be able to reason with you and cast a vision and go about it,ability to communicate vision and have direction,” Zulu noted.