DJ Shiti: Millennials carry childhood trauma and must not repeat it with their children
By Steve Ireri, August 17, 2025Actor and comedian Steve Ndede, alias DJ Shiti, has urged millennials to be mindful of the ways they raise their children, warning against repeating patterns of trauma they themselves experienced growing up.
Speaking during an interview with the Mic Cheque Podcast on Sunday, August 17, 2025, Shiti noted that many millennials grew up in households where strict discipline, fear, and emotional hardship were the norm, cautioning that these patterns should not be repeated with the next generation.
According to Shiti, overprotectiveness among millennial parents stems from a desire to shield their children from hardships they themselves endured.
“Gen Z were born to parents who carried trauma. Millennials’ parents were also raised with trauma. That is why today you see parents trying very hard to protect their children and prevent them from experiencing what they went through,” he said.
He explained that in previous generations, harsh measures were common, including expelling children from home for becoming pregnant, leaving them with nowhere to turn.
“You see, millennials’ parents were the kind who would expel a child from home if she became pregnant, or even if the child grew up and got a job, they could still be sent away. But where would the child go?”
Shiti shared an example from a personal encounter with a cab driver who discussed the challenges of raising children in such restrictive environments.
The driver revealed that he and his spouse would hide the gas cylinder and impose strict routines to keep their children focused, yet the children often internalised stress and depression.
Shiti emphasised that these overbearing measures can inadvertently harm children, making them anxious, withdrawn, and prone to overthinking.
“I remember one day I was late for a shoot and called an Uber because I did not want to drive myself. While talking to the driver, he shared very raw stories about his own children. He told me he and his wife would hide household tasks so the children could go out and hustle. He also said they forced their child to attend school and would throw books out of the window if the child refused. At home, even the children would run away because they knew their parents disliked foolishness. Yet, looking at him, I could see he was depressed,” he narrated.
He stressed that Gen Z children face unique pressures and have a natural tendency to question, explore, and seek answers.
Over-controlling parenting, born from past trauma, can cause them to disconnect emotionally or develop heightened anxiety.
Shiti highlighted that parents must engage with their children through open dialogue, addressing their concerns calmly, and guiding them without resorting to fear or punishment.
“I advised him to ask his children what they liked and spend time with them, talk calmly, and guide them. I explained that this generation tends to overthink, ask many unanswered questions, and can emotionally disconnect very easily.”
Shiti further observed that millennials often overcompensate due to their own difficult upbringing, striving to protect their children from every possible hardship. However, he warned that shielding children too much or imposing rigid control only perpetuates cycles of stress and emotional isolation.
“Parents need to be careful not to repeat past mistakes and should engage, guide, and support their children rather than control or punish them.”